Beatrice's Hat.

Did you guys know the sun comes up around 6am? We didn't either. After hitting snooze and cursing all of England for being on Greenwich Mean Time we dragged our commoner asses out of bed, smeared some butter on a few homemade almond scones and tried to keep our eyes open. 

It was really hard to stay awake during the arrival to Westminster Abbey, but then the Sisters' Crisco came to the rescue. After howling with delight and making jokes that even Lucille Bluth would throw shade at, we decided that Beatrice's dammit head piece was worth the 5am wake up.

The rest of the wedding was lovely. Kate Middleton's choice of McQueen was perfection, William looked like the happiest guy on earth and Harry somehow managed to make a roped-off military suit look good. 

We're pretty sure the Queen grabbed her "spring" suit and top hat out of the back of the Royal Closet in the midst of this mornings' sherry hangover, but we love yellow so we'll let it slide. What we're less willing to let slide was the balcony kiss. This was your moment, Will and Kate! That's how we would kiss crappy in-laws or an affectionate priest! We'll have to live with it, but we hope they make up for it on the honeymoon to Jupiter that the good people of England are paying for.

Since this blog is about many things we'll leave you with an ugly picture of us sleep eating and a recipe. 

God save the Queen!

RAF Almond Scones after the jump.

Keep Calm and Harry On

Say what you will about the royal nuptials tomorrow, but we'll be watching bleary-eyed with a pre-work mimosa in hand. Not because we particularly care about a bunch of toothy millionares who couldn't handle their shit in the 1700's, but because we want to see with our own eyes how someone goes from dating this:

(Oh, hello.)

To marrying this:

(BADGERFACE!)

Three hundred pounds says Kate comes to her senses and runs off with this hot toddy:

How Many Licks Does It Take

(Image courtesy of Bakers Royale)

Not sure why we didn't think of this on our own. Corona Popsicles....holy shit. We've never wanted anything more.

Joe Squared

With the typical happy hour consisting of $1 Jaeger shots and various discounted Red Bull concoctions, we love taking a trip to Joe Squared and reveling in nightly specials that don't suck. In fact, they're pretty effing wonderful. This past Monday night we indulged in 1/2 priced risotto and wine bottles (offered every Monday from 4-7:30). This means that two people stuffed themselves silly with two large bowls of creamy, delicious risotto and two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc (don't judge) for under $40. Happy Hour specials are offered almost every day of the week, each providing an economically respsonible way to get your food and booze fix.

 Bonus points: Flash a few smiles at the bartender and you may even score a few free shots of Grand Marnier (seems like a good idea at the time).

This Has Nothing to Do With Anything But...

...there's just no way you can look us in the eye and tell us you don't want to be writhing in a backless black dress in front of a public school photo day backdrop/lazer tag party music video in the jungle in 1999.

Turn Me On

(Image courtesy of this site.)

This is how today feels.

Super bright and weird and colorful and confusing (it was cold last week and today we're contemplating public nudity) and we like it but we're not sure we're supposed to.

Oh, Spring in Baltimore.

Getting Handsy

(Image couresy of Apartment Therapy)

Please ignore the charmingly tow-headed children in this picture and focus instead on the incredible shadow puppet motif wallpaper behind them. It's kind of amazing.

Great Friday

Happy Easter to all you little gay fancy men.

Feaster

(Courtesy of La Boite Verte)

We Need...

...These. For a super awesome sleepover with our chums.

(get it?)

Four Questions

(Image courtesy of Food Network)

Last night, we packed the kids into the ole' station wagon and hightailed it to the county for Mama Carol's Non-Seder-Seder. As is the case with most Jewish functions, the wine consumption was inappropriate, inside voices did not exist, and the gluttonous crowd left not even a crumb for Elijah.

 As harrowing as it was to pick one highlight from the whole evening, the award must undoubtedly go to the Indonesian Ginger Chicken that prompted well-dressed ladies to employ some pretty barbaric eating techniques (hands are a form of silverware, dammit). Oh, and seeing these guys model a pastel assortment of yarmulkes was totally worth the price of admission.

Yoga

(Image courtesy of this link)

Tonight- just like every third Wednesday- The Baltimore Conservatory Association opens its doors to Charm City Yoga for an hour of stretching while checking out cool plants. We went in January and loved it. The class was a nice mix of beginner/intermediate and the space is well-suited for relaxation. We were a little cramped (this is a popular event so come early and mark your yoga-mat real estate) but getting cozy with your neighbor was worth it for the venue. After class you are invited to wander the conservatory in an unguided mediation, or if you're like us, you'll invite yourself to gawk at plants with leaves twice the size of the average human male.

The class begins at 6pm and costs $12 (half goes to Charm City Yoga and half is a donation to the conservatory). The address is 3100 Swan Drive in Druid Hill Park and there is plenty of free parking.

Nerd Alert

(Sucks to be Megan today....xoxo, L)

Pardon the radio silence. One of us is spending a soul-sucking day at a six-hour excel course in East Baltimore.

Weekend

When our plans to see Ke$ha (and one of our sisters) at Lycoming College were crushed because of the weather, we threw on our rain boots and headed to Jong Kak. We suggest you wipe that smirk off your face (the soft J kind of takes the name to a Chris Hansen place) and give this Korean BBQ wonder a try. We toasted to everything we could think of with Korean gin, wrapped perfectly smoked chicken, short ribs and pork in verdant lettuce and squealed when the waitress employed a hair dryer to keep our table-top grill from overheating. The best part? This carnivorous and boozy feast cost somewhere in the realm of 120 clams.

The remainder of the weekend was pretty tame in comparison. Saturday was spent submerged in biblical rain falls and vile amounts of television, while Sunday provided us with ideal farmers market and Druid Hill Park/open container weather.   

This is our future.

Pretending we care about each other mid-margarita in Druid Hill Park.

Elderflower vodka... 50% of us thought it tasted like soap.

Whole F**ds

(Image courtesy of Cafe Press)

Socially responsible and honest. We love it.

Truth.

(Image courtesy of this site)

Apologies, All Around.

We've been dividing our time between drinking spritzers and playing cards in the park and cursing the weather gods for the days when we can't drink spritzers  and play cards in the park, so please excuse the absent Wednesday posts. It takes a lot of energy to drink and curse.

To make it up to you, here are some shots from our week. 

Go to the Mondawmin MVA. It's fast and every time we've gone, we've had really funny, sweet customer service. Seriously. Also, this coy seal graces the wall to the bathroom with no explanation.

After dinner at Corner BYOB we strolled past this iconic (and warm) Hampden tree.

A very capable (and strange) boyfriend made this bud vase from a light bulb and coat hanger. If you want one too,  he prefers payment in the form of Pikesville Rye.

Casa Baltimore

 This weekend we had the pleasure of attending a CASA benefit. CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) is a program that places volunteers with children in need of an advocate within the judicial, medical and education systems. To learn more about this incredible service and to find out how to volunteer, please visit this site.

Below are some pictures from the event at Load of Fun Gallery. We munched on Joe Squared, had our fortunes told and bought some kick ass art in the silent auction. (We ended up with a wallpapered gun, an alligator motif and a lithograph of "talking" piranhas. Very cool.)

A special thanks to the Green family for giving us a heads up on this event and organization, and an even special-er NO thanks to Miss Olivia who refused to share that brownie. 

Temptations

(Visit Shopbando.com)

Just thought you might like to know....

Girl Talk

(All images courtesy of Shop Sweet Lulu)

Complete suckers for anything with adorable packaging, we practically peed ourselves when we came across Shop Sweet Lulu a few weeks ago. After spending a good 2 hours removing and adding little trinkets to our shopping cart (our bosses must be so proud) we finally settled on striped candy cups, and a few varieties of the ever-practical paper straw. All of our uber-girly goods came beautifully wrapped in a pink confetti filled box. Embarrassing amounts of giggles, and gasps followed.

National Grilled Cheese Day

(White Truffle Grilled Cheese)

(Green Goddess Grilled Cheese)

(Grilled Beer & Cheese)

In case you weren't already aware, today (April 12th) is National Grilled Cheese Day. There aren't many non gift receiving holidays that excite us, but this is a celebration that we can totally get down with.

We didn't actually craft our own cheesy wonder for the occasion (yesterday's sunshine served as a brutal reminder that bathing suit season is fast approaching) but we are going to leave you with some pretty inspirational food porn.  

Karmic Relief

We miss the hell out of her at Brewer's, but Karma's cupcakes have made it to the big leagues: they were served at a fabulous dinner party in Ruxton last night. Go Karma! 

And YOU should go to Stonemill Bakery to try them for yourself. Above is a shot of the BERGER COOKIE CUPCAKE we shared last night, complete with a signature sparkle sprinkle. Perfection.

(and this is officially our last cupcake post of the week. probably.)

Kate Spade Sale

These bright Kate Spade bags are sunshine on this cloudy day. Today and tomorrow is the Friends and Family (sure) 25% off sale, and we're debating giving BGE an IOU to make room to splurge.

If you see us warming our hands by a garbage bin fire, please smile kindly and compliment our bags.

Holy Crap

Growing up, our definition of the circus was sticky cotton candy fingers, eau de elephant poop, and clown induced nightmares. Super pleasant, right? Needless to say that when we were given the opportunity to attend a performance of Cirque Du Soleil Totem last night, there was a brief moment of hesitation. Fortunately, one of us put on their big girl panties and gave the carny world a second chance (a certain coward shall remain nameless...Megan). Despite it's unfortunate Westport Waterfront location, and increased odds of wheelchair-bound homeless traffic director encounters (true story) we can't stress enough how badly you need to see Totem. Words cannot even begin to describe some of the shit that we witnessed. Buy yourself a ticket, splurge on the $9 booze, and prepare to have your mind blown.

Totem runs tonight through April 24th. 

More info here 

Dominion Ice Cream

Some simple math.

On the fourth and final day of birthday celebrating for this guy, we stumbled upon magic. Dominion Ice Cream in Charles Village not only makes you-wouldnt-know-it-was-vegetable ice cream, they STUFF IT into cupcakes. Though the idea of tomato ice cream was initially a turn off, we figured anything stuffed inside a cupcake would taste delicious. We spent about ten minutes with the very patient staff mixing and matching ice cream flavors with cupcake and icing options. Beet ice cream in a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing; Cucumber ice cream in a vanilla cupcake with lemon icing; and for the less daring: Cookie dough ice cream in chocolate cupcake with vanilla icing.

It was the fattest, most creative moment in our adult lives.

Don't let the fancy food and fabulous service fool you- Dominion is dirt cheap. A half dozen cupcakes cost $15 bucks...way less than the normal price for bakery cupcakes that don't even have ice cream in them. Get your ass to 33rd and Charles and indulge.

Up Yours

When in doubt, rub butter and fried garlic all over a chicken, and roast with a can of beer in its butt.

In Living Color

(Image courtesy of Hype Beast)

Perhaps it comes with the territory of being 80's babies, but anything neon (in small doses, that is) will forever have a place in our hearts. As soon as we stumbled across these amped up leather satchels, we immediately started rationalizing the potential purchase. It's yet to happen but who knows how long this bout of constraint will last.

Stacker

(Images courtesy of StreetFSN)

Currently vibing a wrist full of sparkly, stacked trinkets.

#FatBitchProblems

Back when we first met (if one can even remember so far back) we divulged our undying love for dirt-cheap, authentic Mexican food in the form of Mi Viejo Pueblito. In addition to spreading this obsession all over the internet, there is not a single member of our posse who has not dined there (strong arming was only implemented twice). Fearful of having too much of a good thing, we took a brief hiatus, allowing our cravings to truly grow. During this separation, a friend informed us that MVP was under new ownership (?!) and had undergone a name change (?!?!). Unaware of the awesomness of the first iteration, he gave the place high marks (which were likely swayed by the BYOB status). 

Fast forward to this past Saturday night when we made our long awaited trip ''home''. Upon our initial observation, not much had changed. Same sunny exterior, intoxicating smells wafting through the front door, and a wonderful handwritten BYOB sign. Situated at a nice corner table equipped to handle our party of 10, we dove into the menu. Despite the absence of a few dishes, it seemed pretty unscathed. Another sigh of relief. The first plate to arrive at our table was a hefty portion of bright green guacamole. Going in for the first bite, we noticed something odd. The chips. The fresh from the fryer, hot, salty tortilla chips that we have come to expect had been replaced with some straight from the bag Tostitos shit. WTF? And it only got worse from there.

Although everybody's food was hot and palatable, there was nothing exceptional about any of it. Chicken Enchiladas were completely overwhelmed by quarter inch thick corn tortillas and enough mole to overflow a bathtub. Tamales so void of anything but dense, dry masa that they could sink a boat. To be fair, our feelings of devastation were not shared by all. Some of our party ohh-ed and ahh-ed with every bite. Some people enjoy bland food. Au revoir, Mi Viejo Pueblito (we don't care to remember your new epithet). And so, the search for Baltimore's perfect Mexican spot continues....

Starch Raving Mad

(Images courtesy of The Inspired Bride)

While we have done our fair share of entertaining and ''table-scaping'' the past few weeks, none of our accomplishments even compare to this bomb-ass spud bar. This fabulously decorated spread includes every variety of delicious potato treat conceivable; mashed, baked, tots, fries, and wedges. Not to mention enough topping and dipping options to seduce anyone into the sweetest of starch comas. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so prepare to be flattered super soon, spud bar.

Take Me Back

(Image courtesy of this site)

Happy opening day, Baltimore.

Under the Overpass

FINALLY.

The farmers market opened yesterday and we couldn't be happier. To ensure an early Sunday wake-up, we had an unusually low-key Saturday night and awoke shockingly refreshed and ready to buy some shit. Since the market opened a full month earlier than usual, the stands were a little sparse. We noticed an influx of "art" (and underwear) dealers along the perimeter, as well as a concrete field of hula hoops and variously-aged hip thrusters. Once we got past the hullabaloo, we bee-lined to the chicken kebab stand, strolled past our favorite Mexican food spot, bought armloads of Boston Lettuce and grabbed a few (half gallons) of fresh chocolate milk.

Even though the produce and snacks are incredible, the best part of the market is running into friends underneath of the high way. The combination of getting your voice heard over the crowd and roaring cars above while jumping around trying to avoid people on roller blades (saw two this weekend) and the hipster parents who apparently made a southern turn out of Park Slope and found themselves in Baltimore is too fun. The catching up with friends part is fun too.

Welcome back, Spring.