Monday, February 28, 2011

Kirk Douglas's Ear Lobes

Some of our friends really half-ass things. We threw an Oscar party this weekend (and thank god because there was no way we would have gotten through it without wine and catty company) and asked everyone to bring a dish inspired by one of the nominated films. For our part, we roasted a duck in a dark sesame and honey glaze to turn it black, an obvious homage to Black Swan. We also attempted to create a Mr Potato Head cake in honor of Toy Story 3 and the results were terrifying. Like, Tim Burton-meets-the-cartoonists-of-Doug-meets-a-creepy-five-year-old-cake-maker terrifying.
Despite the less than stellar cake, we really put effort into our contributions. And while it would be unfair to say that no one else put thought into their food, it would be fair to say that a few guests shat the bed when it came to giving a shit.

The most creative interpretation was this severed hand chicken wing platter inspired, of course, by 127 hours.

We were going to take pictures of the other snacks, but figured no one would want to see a table full of clearance-priced gas station food. We ended up with a bowl of mini chocolate covered pretzels  (The Social Network...); crustless wonder bread sandwiches with cucumber and cream cheese (The Kings Speech...); three bottles of alcohol-free "wine" (The Kids Are Alright...) and a chicken box from Royal Farms because "they ate fried chicken on the trail" (True Grit...). 

As a punishment we'll leave them (and you) with the face of satan shimself: 

Friday, February 25, 2011

Hurry Hurry

(Image courtesy of this site)

This weather has got to go. 

We're ready for
pool days
wine in the park
wine in the fountain in the park
sitting outside at Iggies
marathon drinking at little havana
walking to the charles theatre and then
stumbling home from club charles
first thursdays
open windows
sailing around the harbor
sailing to fort carroll to
plot our take-over of the island
boat shoes
not being see-through

Thursday, February 24, 2011

BSC and the Painful Truth

(Image courtesy of this site)
Remember how annoying the first chapter of every Babysitters Club book was? (No, just us?) Miss Martin spent precious ink and paper re-introducing each character and the club like we didn't already know about Kristy's bossiness and broken family, Claudia's crasian parents and art fetish, Dawn's Californian roots and absentee father, or Mary Anne's eating disorder and likely premarital sex (no one was fooled, Logan). Bret Easton Ellis (author of American Psycho) was also vexed by the redundant introductions and took time out from creating sexy urban killing machines to re-write each BSC character's introduction.

Here's a piece of Claudia's intro. We think you'll find it more than satisfactory.

My mom was crying in the front seat and if you knew my dad you’d know he never goes above the speed-limit, it’s just like one of those “never happens” scenarios, which I would probably ascribe to the fact that his daily dose of Valium that he thought he was hiding so well from the rest of the family had been dumped down the drain earlier in the week and replaced with Blue M&M’s. My mom’s Prozac prescription? Tiny crushed up pieces of Certs, inserted carefully back into gel-cap casings after I dumped out all her Happy Pills and let the Newton’s dog lick it up off the floor. Without their carefully regulated diet of feelings, my family was on the verge of a major meltdown. I caught myself smiling in the rear-view mirror and had to reapply my mask of “ambiguously ethnic inscrutability,” as Janine might call it.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Harper's Bizarre

(Image courtesy of Harper's Bazaar)
Thank you to our latest issue of Harper's Bazaar for causing us to audibly giggle when you arrived in the mail. We totally understand the China Town theme here, but the panda suit is uber creepy. We look forward to seeing it in our nightmares later.   

Let's Do the Time Warp Again

When it comes to time-wasting, we like to fancy ourselves Grand Empresses. No thought, slow movement, invented game or blank stare can last too long during our embarrassingly-often fits of procrastination. During one such episode, we found these little cards from artist Alyson Provax's Etsy site. She succinctly showcases the art of doing (what appears) to be nothing, and makes procrastination look- dare we say it- productive. 

Enjoy her meditations on nothingness and then get back to work, dammit.

Wednesday's Own... Things We Love

Vacation breakfast.

Step Up 2: The Kitchen
Men in denim jumpers. In public.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Five Second Rule

(Image courtesy of Apartment Therapy)
As much as we adore entertaining, accommodating more than six people can be a bit of a challenge. Luckily, our guests are as creative as they are ''thirsty'', so we always make do. If there is ever a time to force a few friends to eat off of an ottoman, it is most assuredly in your mid-twenties. Although they seem to be down with it, our next house will have to include a few more adult amenities (a dining room for starters). On second thought, an island with more seats than we could possibly fill will do just as well.


In celebration of a friend turning the big 3-0, we spent the majority of Saturday overindulging at Alexander's Tavern in Fells Point. While we got our fill of 5 for $15 craft buckets and tater tots smothered in crab dip, some of the more ''active'' party goers battled to the death (ok, not really) in round after round of the ever brutal shuffleboard. Drunk and bloodied, it was now time for dessert.

In our constant attempt to defy normalcy, we created a Birthday Cake Truffle in lieu of a standard cake. Not quite sure how the belligerent mob (not really, again) would react to this slap in the face of tradition, we hid amongst the fallen mathletes, awaiting our fate. As truffle crumbs littered the bar, we peered out from our hiding place only to discover that the once angry faces were now covered in chocolate stained smiles. Bellies full, and peace restored, we have created a masterpiece.

Birthday Cake Truffles
Recipe after the jump 

Hot Mama

(Image courtesy of Bleubird Vintage)
Completely ignorant to the world of parenting, our maternal instincts begin and end with remembering to change the litter box. Blissfully irresponsible at times, the idea of motherhood is a veeeeery distant and sometimes debatable concept to us. We associate it with lots of poop and a strict uniform of sweats and ratty tennis shoes.

While these rules may apply to some, Miss James of the wonderful Bleubird Vintage, has literally rocked our world. A mother of three with model good looks and a wardrobe that could make you cry, Miss James makes motherhood look, for lack of a more eloquent phrase, fucking awesome. Loaded with pictures of her beautiful family and their daily adventures, her blog makes us seriously reconsider our baby free lives (fear not boyfriends, not anytime soon). If and when that time comes, this is how we're going to do it.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Spade and Neutered

We're a little late sharing this information with you, but you'll forgive our selfish, lazy ways. We've spent the last two days talking each other in and out of buying bags from the Kate Spade sample sale. In the end we both reluctantly decided that our glorious mid-month paychecks should be used for lesser purchases (food, phone bills, booze) but that doesn't mean you can't splurge on a fabulous bag.

And then let us borrow it.

Lite Brite

(Image courtesy of Fashion Fame)

To the sheer delight of any Baltimorean, Mother Nature has decided to bump us off of her shit list for a few days and grace us with some sun. Temporary as it may be, this sudden heat wave is just the boost we needed to pull us out of the Winter blues. After enjoying a fabulous outdoor lunch (!!!) we're left daydreaming of breezy sundresses and the extinction of our transparent complexion.   

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Writing on the Wall

(Images courtesy of Better Living Through Design)

Until recently, the thought of wallpapering our homes evoked images of our grandmother's powder room or the lobby at the MVA. We stand corrected, however. And trust when we say that this a superbly bitter pill to swallow, as being wrong is the absolute bane of our combined existence.

 Primarily associated with her go-fuck-yourself amazing gowns, Vivienne Westwood has completely changed our feelings towards wallpaper. Through her collaboration with Cole & Son, the designer has bred new life into a decidedly geriatric trend. Gone are the days of muted pinks and monotone stripes. With the inclusion of bright abstracts, and magically non-preppy plaids, this collection is one that we are totally on board with. Now if only we didn't have to sell our house to afford covering a single wall.....


(Image courtesy of House and Home)

While we have grown accustomed to simply tossing our coats onto the nearest chair when we get home, a more civilized approach is in order. We've yet to find a traditional coat rack that suits our fancy but these antler wall hooks may be exactly what the doctor ordered. Wall art and function in one? Yes, please.

Wednesday's Own...Things We Love

Corrupt superfoods


Being brilliantly chic

Bien Sur

Maybe it's our recent jaunt to Paris, and maybe it's our own (mildly) successful candle-making adventures, but we're really digging these Eiffel Tower candles. The French Market Etsy site has a lovely selection of note cards, spools and candles, and everything is inexpensive enough to give you a reason to give the Francophile in your life a 'just because' gift. And if you're the Francophile in your life, voici une boutique pour vous.

Monday, February 14, 2011


After years of waiting, we finally get to see Anthropologie's first wedding line, BHLDN! Just in time for Valentines Day, these incredible (and affordable) vintage-inspired gowns have hit the racks, and we're obsessed. We need someone to get married immediately just so we can help design a wedding around the BHLDN shop. The wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses are divine, but we especially love the accessories, like these winter-wedding gloves, this clutch, and this pair of heels.

Enjoy perusing the goods, and if you're a close friend please consider getting married so we have a reason to buy things off this site.

Friday, February 11, 2011

McQueen Bee

While we consider ourselves to be moderately fashionable, we will forever have people in our lives who put us to shame  (who knew that H&M wasn't couture?). A master of the skinny pant and occasional bow tie, Patrick strikes again.

This time last year, the fashion world lost a titan-Alexander McQueen. And I think that it's only fitting to pay homage to this brilliantly innovative man. So to my favorite designer, and one of my favorite artists-you are missed. But your legacy lives on-especially when I get my hands on your gladiator sandals I've been desperately coveting.

I want that head piece

The shape, the construction, the drama

SJP with the man himself-one of my ALLTIME favorite red carpet looks

Flowy, feathery goodness

The last dress from his last collection-a swan song

Snug as a Bug

There are many fabulous reasons to live in Baltimore, but one of the most underrated are the homes. Whether you shack up in a studio in Mt Vernon or a three-story row home in Federal Hill, chances are you've got either exposed brick, twelve foot ceilings, original molding, massive windows or wood floors. Of all of these features, wood floors are arguably the best. Baltimore's aversion to carpet is remarkable; maybe landlords don't want to deal with steam cleaning after each tenant moves out, but we'd like to think it's because they have a soft spot in their hearts for the romance and style of original wood flooring. And because they know a gorgeous rug hands down beats wall-to-wall carpet.

We found these incredible Luke Irwin rugs and immediately checked our savings to see if the Bank of America fairy dropped some cash into our accounts. That cold bitch fluttered away without even glancing back, but we figure we can afford one of these incredible wood grain-inspired rugs with our Keep the Change money. In thirty years. 

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Resurrect Me

(Image found here)
In honor of a special friend's monumental birthday, our evening will be spent at our hands-down favorite local haunt, Brewers Art. In mere hours, we will be nestled into our favorite corner, munching on rosemary garlic fries, and swimming in the 7.5 alcohol content which is Ozzy.

She Sells Seashells

                         Caught this about 239 degress into our eyeroll. Pretty good stuff.


We want a tray of these cookies

While snuggled up in this colorful cocoon


Singing along to this album


We're both feeling this eyeroll today. 

Hers is more glamorous, though.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Dude Looks Like A Lady

(Image courtesy of The Sartorialist)
Neither of us could ever, EVER get away with barely-there hairstyles. Mother Nature and genetics did us some favors, but definitely not enough to rock something so androgynous and still look sexy. Pretty girl with cropped hair: 1. A Charmed City: 0

Bar None

(Image courtesy of Where the Sidewalk Begins)
It is no secret that we strongly advocate the act of imbibing (always responsibly, of course). We particularly enjoy it when playing mixologist to a host of friends in our own home. This enjoyment would turn to euphoria were we to pour our Knob Creek from this wallpapered nook.

Love Machine

Something Special for Your Environmentally Responsible Valentine

She limits her shower time to once a week but her natural pheromones get you all hot and bothered.
...because you don't actually expect her to carry her roses home in the plastic monstrosity they were packaged in

...because the style sacrifice is relatively minimal
Woodberry Kitchen
...because nothing says ''I care'' like a meal at Baltimore's premiere farm to table impresario

Monday, February 7, 2011

Here Comes the Sun

...And he's back for more. Please enjoy another men's fashion post from our resident lady friend, Mister Patrick James.

In a concerted effort to fend off a RAGING case of seasonal affective disorder, I have been fantasizing about Spring and Summer to a point of hysteria- the return of First Thursdays, Gibson Island outings, sailing trips, wine in Mt. Vernon Park with my feet in the fountain, the farmers’ market- Okay. Slow down, Sally. But for serial- I need some warm weather. And since (according to that little furry fucker in Pennsyltucky) we have six weeks left of winter, I shall assuage my cold-weather madness with some Spring and Summer haberdasheries. 

(Image courtesy of this site.)
 Love this Ben Sherman gingham ditty. Just have to go tanning to dispel any jaundice rumors.

(Image courtesy of this site.)
Shorty-short-short gray chambray shorts. I'm thinking a lawn/croquet party and a bow tie.

(Image courtesy of this site.)
Jesus via Alexander McQueen. I. Need. These.

Love Me Tender

With the holiday of love fast approaching, it's time to figure how you want to reward your someone special this year. From baby daddies to friends with benefits, everyone deserves a little recognition on the 14th. With a whole week of planning at our disposal (that's about a month in procrastinator land) it would be in poor taste not to share our ideas with the world. In addition to gifts, we are also including some of our favorite local  eateries suitable for your particular celebration. And here you have it kids.......A Charmed City Guide to J'adore.

Something Special for Your Friend with Benefits.
She's double jointed and can make a mean quesadilla. But you're still not ready to take her home to mom.

...because His & Hers are too much of a commitment


...because every girl deserves a love letter

The Explorer's Lounge
...because you probably won't make it past the salad course anyway, just play footsies over Manhattans before planning a coat closet rendezvous

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