Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Smell You Later

Hold your tears- we've decided to leave our blogspot home and move over to wordpress. We will still continue to amuse and delight all (five) of you on the new site- it'll just look a little better while we do it. Head over to and if you care about us at all, subscribe! And tell your friends! And your enemies!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Baltimore: The City That Reads

Who needs the internet when all the answers to life's question can be found plastered to the mail box on Monument?

Hurts So Good

When we first discover something that we absolutely, without a doubt need to own, it becomes somewhat of an obsession. We lie awake at night envisioning ourselves with (insert coveted item here) and how our lives will be infinitely better once we finally get our greedy paws on it. Sick bitches, indeed.
Our current bout occurred whilst flipping through one of the dozen and a half editorials (fine, it was Cosmo) that we so adore. From the moment we laid eyes on Sam Edelman's Exie flats, we knew that they had to be ours. We're still unsure if it was the doubles-as-a-weapon angle or some freakish desire to rock self inflicted ankle wounds all Summer. Either way, they are now safely at home in our bedroom closet.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Nasty Gal

Besides our birthdays, we may be entering the very best time of the year. Despite the rain, pollen and bipolar temperatures, a million fun parties, festivals and events are happening. This week alone we have the first First Thursdays, Mount Vernon Flower Mart, a fabulous Kentucky Derby party and a college graduation to attend in beautiful, cultural, Williamsport, PA. Having a full dance card is lovely, but outfits are sparse as spring cleaning has revealed closets hit hard by neglect and questionable choices made while shivering through online winter clearance sales.

Typically we're cheap bitches who re-purpose/wear clothes until they're ruined--- so pilly and sad-looking that even our floorboards don't want to be dusted with them. Luckily, The Circle of (Fashion) Life rewards frugality and lets us believe that each mottled garment begets a new fancy one.

Below are a few favorites from the recently discovered Nasty Gal site. Summer wardrobe beware: You're about to get revamped.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Beatrice's Hat.

Did you guys know the sun comes up around 6am? We didn't either. After hitting snooze and cursing all of England for being on Greenwich Mean Time we dragged our commoner asses out of bed, smeared some butter on a few homemade almond scones and tried to keep our eyes open. 

It was really hard to stay awake during the arrival to Westminster Abbey, but then the Sisters' Crisco came to the rescue. After howling with delight and making jokes that even Lucille Bluth would throw shade at, we decided that Beatrice's dammit head piece was worth the 5am wake up.

The rest of the wedding was lovely. Kate Middleton's choice of McQueen was perfection, William looked like the happiest guy on earth and Harry somehow managed to make a roped-off military suit look good. 

We're pretty sure the Queen grabbed her "spring" suit and top hat out of the back of the Royal Closet in the midst of this mornings' sherry hangover, but we love yellow so we'll let it slide. What we're less willing to let slide was the balcony kiss. This was your moment, Will and Kate! That's how we would kiss crappy in-laws or an affectionate priest! We'll have to live with it, but we hope they make up for it on the honeymoon to Jupiter that the good people of England are paying for.

Since this blog is about many things we'll leave you with an ugly picture of us sleep eating and a recipe. 

God save the Queen!

RAF Almond Scones after the jump.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Keep Calm and Harry On

Say what you will about the royal nuptials tomorrow, but we'll be watching bleary-eyed with a pre-work mimosa in hand. Not because we particularly care about a bunch of toothy millionares who couldn't handle their shit in the 1700's, but because we want to see with our own eyes how someone goes from dating this:

(Oh, hello.)

To marrying this:


Three hundred pounds says Kate comes to her senses and runs off with this hot toddy:

How Many Licks Does It Take

(Image courtesy of Bakers Royale)
Not sure why we didn't think of this on our own. Corona Popsicles....holy shit. We've never wanted anything more.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Joe Squared

With the typical happy hour consisting of $1 Jaeger shots and various discounted Red Bull concoctions, we love taking a trip to Joe Squared and reveling in nightly specials that don't suck. In fact, they're pretty effing wonderful. This past Monday night we indulged in 1/2 priced risotto and wine bottles (offered every Monday from 4-7:30). This means that two people stuffed themselves silly with two large bowls of creamy, delicious risotto and two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc (don't judge) for under $40. Happy Hour specials are offered almost every day of the week, each providing an economically respsonible way to get your food and booze fix.
 Bonus points: Flash a few smiles at the bartender and you may even score a few free shots of Grand Marnier (seems like a good idea at the time).

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

This Has Nothing to Do With Anything But...

...there's just no way you can look us in the eye and tell us you don't want to be writhing in a backless black dress in front of a public school photo day backdrop/lazer tag party music video in the jungle in 1999.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Turn Me On

(Image courtesy of this site.)
This is how today feels.

Super bright and weird and colorful and confusing (it was cold last week and today we're contemplating public nudity) and we like it but we're not sure we're supposed to.

Oh, Spring in Baltimore.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Getting Handsy

(Image couresy of Apartment Therapy)
Please ignore the charmingly tow-headed children in this picture and focus instead on the incredible shadow puppet motif wallpaper behind them. It's kind of amazing.

Great Friday

Happy Easter to all you little gay fancy men.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Four Questions

(Image courtesy of Food Network)
Last night, we packed the kids into the ole' station wagon and hightailed it to the county for Mama Carol's Non-Seder-Seder. As is the case with most Jewish functions, the wine consumption was inappropriate, inside voices did not exist, and the gluttonous crowd left not even a crumb for Elijah.
 As harrowing as it was to pick one highlight from the whole evening, the award must undoubtedly go to the Indonesian Ginger Chicken that prompted well-dressed ladies to employ some pretty barbaric eating techniques (hands are a form of silverware, dammit). Oh, and seeing these guys model a pastel assortment of yarmulkes was totally worth the price of admission.


(Image courtesy of this link)
Tonight- just like every third Wednesday- The Baltimore Conservatory Association opens its doors to Charm City Yoga for an hour of stretching while checking out cool plants. We went in January and loved it. The class was a nice mix of beginner/intermediate and the space is well-suited for relaxation. We were a little cramped (this is a popular event so come early and mark your yoga-mat real estate) but getting cozy with your neighbor was worth it for the venue. After class you are invited to wander the conservatory in an unguided mediation, or if you're like us, you'll invite yourself to gawk at plants with leaves twice the size of the average human male.

The class begins at 6pm and costs $12 (half goes to Charm City Yoga and half is a donation to the conservatory). The address is 3100 Swan Drive in Druid Hill Park and there is plenty of free parking.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Nerd Alert

(Sucks to be Megan today....xoxo, L)
Pardon the radio silence. One of us is spending a soul-sucking day at a six-hour excel course in East Baltimore.

Monday, April 18, 2011


When our plans to see Ke$ha (and one of our sisters) at Lycoming College were crushed because of the weather, we threw on our rain boots and headed to Jong Kak. We suggest you wipe that smirk off your face (the soft J kind of takes the name to a Chris Hansen place) and give this Korean BBQ wonder a try. We toasted to everything we could think of with Korean gin, wrapped perfectly smoked chicken, short ribs and pork in verdant lettuce and squealed when the waitress employed a hair dryer to keep our table-top grill from overheating. The best part? This carnivorous and boozy feast cost somewhere in the realm of 120 clams.

The remainder of the weekend was pretty tame in comparison. Saturday was spent submerged in biblical rain falls and vile amounts of television, while Sunday provided us with ideal farmers market and Druid Hill Park/open container weather.   
This is our future.

Pretending we care about each other mid-margarita in Druid Hill Park.

Elderflower vodka... 50% of us thought it tasted like soap.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Whole F**ds

(Image courtesy of Cafe Press)

Socially responsible and honest. We love it.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


(Image courtesy of this site)

Apologies, All Around.

We've been dividing our time between drinking spritzers and playing cards in the park and cursing the weather gods for the days when we can't drink spritzers  and play cards in the park, so please excuse the absent Wednesday posts. It takes a lot of energy to drink and curse.

To make it up to you, here are some shots from our week. 

Go to the Mondawmin MVA. It's fast and every time we've gone, we've had really funny, sweet customer service. Seriously. Also, this coy seal graces the wall to the bathroom with no explanation.

After dinner at Corner BYOB we strolled past this iconic (and warm) Hampden tree.

A very capable (and strange) boyfriend made this bud vase from a light bulb and coat hanger. If you want one too,  he prefers payment in the form of Pikesville Rye.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Casa Baltimore

 This weekend we had the pleasure of attending a CASA benefit. CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) is a program that places volunteers with children in need of an advocate within the judicial, medical and education systems. To learn more about this incredible service and to find out how to volunteer, please visit this site.

Below are some pictures from the event at Load of Fun Gallery. We munched on Joe Squared, had our fortunes told and bought some kick ass art in the silent auction. (We ended up with a wallpapered gun, an alligator motif and a lithograph of "talking" piranhas. Very cool.)

A special thanks to the Green family for giving us a heads up on this event and organization, and an even special-er NO thanks to Miss Olivia who refused to share that brownie. 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Just thought you might like to know....

Girl Talk

(All images courtesy of Shop Sweet Lulu)
Complete suckers for anything with adorable packaging, we practically peed ourselves when we came across Shop Sweet Lulu a few weeks ago. After spending a good 2 hours removing and adding little trinkets to our shopping cart (our bosses must be so proud) we finally settled on striped candy cups, and a few varieties of the ever-practical paper straw. All of our uber-girly goods came beautifully wrapped in a pink confetti filled box. Embarrassing amounts of giggles, and gasps followed.

National Grilled Cheese Day

(White Truffle Grilled Cheese)
(Green Goddess Grilled Cheese)
(Grilled Beer & Cheese)
In case you weren't already aware, today (April 12th) is National Grilled Cheese Day. There aren't many non gift receiving holidays that excite us, but this is a celebration that we can totally get down with.
We didn't actually craft our own cheesy wonder for the occasion (yesterday's sunshine served as a brutal reminder that bathing suit season is fast approaching) but we are going to leave you with some pretty inspirational food porn.  

Friday, April 8, 2011

Karmic Relief

We miss the hell out of her at Brewer's, but Karma's cupcakes have made it to the big leagues: they were served at a fabulous dinner party in Ruxton last night. Go Karma
And YOU should go to Stonemill Bakery to try them for yourself. Above is a shot of the BERGER COOKIE CUPCAKE we shared last night, complete with a signature sparkle sprinkle. Perfection.

(and this is officially our last cupcake post of the week. probably.)

Kate Spade Sale

These bright Kate Spade bags are sunshine on this cloudy day. Today and tomorrow is the Friends and Family (sure) 25% off sale, and we're debating giving BGE an IOU to make room to splurge.

If you see us warming our hands by a garbage bin fire, please smile kindly and compliment our bags.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Holy Crap

Growing up, our definition of the circus was sticky cotton candy fingers, eau de elephant poop, and clown induced nightmares. Super pleasant, right? Needless to say that when we were given the opportunity to attend a performance of Cirque Du Soleil Totem last night, there was a brief moment of hesitation. Fortunately, one of us put on their big girl panties and gave the carny world a second chance (a certain coward shall remain nameless...Megan). Despite it's unfortunate Westport Waterfront location, and increased odds of wheelchair-bound homeless traffic director encounters (true story) we can't stress enough how badly you need to see Totem. Words cannot even begin to describe some of the shit that we witnessed. Buy yourself a ticket, splurge on the $9 booze, and prepare to have your mind blown.
Totem runs tonight through April 24th. 
More info here 

Dominion Ice Cream

Some simple math.
On the fourth and final day of birthday celebrating for this guy, we stumbled upon magic. Dominion Ice Cream in Charles Village not only makes you-wouldnt-know-it-was-vegetable ice cream, they STUFF IT into cupcakes. Though the idea of tomato ice cream was initially a turn off, we figured anything stuffed inside a cupcake would taste delicious. We spent about ten minutes with the very patient staff mixing and matching ice cream flavors with cupcake and icing options. Beet ice cream in a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing; Cucumber ice cream in a vanilla cupcake with lemon icing; and for the less daring: Cookie dough ice cream in chocolate cupcake with vanilla icing.

It was the fattest, most creative moment in our adult lives.

Don't let the fancy food and fabulous service fool you- Dominion is dirt cheap. A half dozen cupcakes cost $15 bucks...way less than the normal price for bakery cupcakes that don't even have ice cream in them. Get your ass to 33rd and Charles and indulge.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Up Yours

When in doubt, rub butter and fried garlic all over a chicken, and roast with a can of beer in its butt.

In Living Color

(Image courtesy of Hype Beast)
Perhaps it comes with the territory of being 80's babies, but anything neon (in small doses, that is) will forever have a place in our hearts. As soon as we stumbled across these amped up leather satchels, we immediately started rationalizing the potential purchase. It's yet to happen but who knows how long this bout of constraint will last.
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