Beatrice's Hat.

Did you guys know the sun comes up around 6am? We didn't either. After hitting snooze and cursing all of England for being on Greenwich Mean Time we dragged our commoner asses out of bed, smeared some butter on a few homemade almond scones and tried to keep our eyes open. 

It was really hard to stay awake during the arrival to Westminster Abbey, but then the Sisters' Crisco came to the rescue. After howling with delight and making jokes that even Lucille Bluth would throw shade at, we decided that Beatrice's dammit head piece was worth the 5am wake up.

The rest of the wedding was lovely. Kate Middleton's choice of McQueen was perfection, William looked like the happiest guy on earth and Harry somehow managed to make a roped-off military suit look good. 

We're pretty sure the Queen grabbed her "spring" suit and top hat out of the back of the Royal Closet in the midst of this mornings' sherry hangover, but we love yellow so we'll let it slide. What we're less willing to let slide was the balcony kiss. This was your moment, Will and Kate! That's how we would kiss crappy in-laws or an affectionate priest! We'll have to live with it, but we hope they make up for it on the honeymoon to Jupiter that the good people of England are paying for.

Since this blog is about many things we'll leave you with an ugly picture of us sleep eating and a recipe. 

God save the Queen!

RAF Almond Scones after the jump.

Keep Calm and Harry On

Say what you will about the royal nuptials tomorrow, but we'll be watching bleary-eyed with a pre-work mimosa in hand. Not because we particularly care about a bunch of toothy millionares who couldn't handle their shit in the 1700's, but because we want to see with our own eyes how someone goes from dating this:

(Oh, hello.)

To marrying this:

(BADGERFACE!)

Three hundred pounds says Kate comes to her senses and runs off with this hot toddy:

How Many Licks Does It Take

(Image courtesy of Bakers Royale)

Not sure why we didn't think of this on our own. Corona Popsicles....holy shit. We've never wanted anything more.

Joe Squared

With the typical happy hour consisting of $1 Jaeger shots and various discounted Red Bull concoctions, we love taking a trip to Joe Squared and reveling in nightly specials that don't suck. In fact, they're pretty effing wonderful. This past Monday night we indulged in 1/2 priced risotto and wine bottles (offered every Monday from 4-7:30). This means that two people stuffed themselves silly with two large bowls of creamy, delicious risotto and two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc (don't judge) for under $40. Happy Hour specials are offered almost every day of the week, each providing an economically respsonible way to get your food and booze fix.

 Bonus points: Flash a few smiles at the bartender and you may even score a few free shots of Grand Marnier (seems like a good idea at the time).

This Has Nothing to Do With Anything But...

...there's just no way you can look us in the eye and tell us you don't want to be writhing in a backless black dress in front of a public school photo day backdrop/lazer tag party music video in the jungle in 1999.

Turn Me On

(Image courtesy of this site.)

This is how today feels.

Super bright and weird and colorful and confusing (it was cold last week and today we're contemplating public nudity) and we like it but we're not sure we're supposed to.

Oh, Spring in Baltimore.

Getting Handsy

(Image couresy of Apartment Therapy)

Please ignore the charmingly tow-headed children in this picture and focus instead on the incredible shadow puppet motif wallpaper behind them. It's kind of amazing.